2022 Wrap Up: Hitting 50,000

Lifetime totals:

2002: 651
2003: 2,213
2004: 2,506
2005: 2,667
2006: 3,124
2007: 2,759
2008: 2,812
2009: 3,353
2010: 3,056
2011: 4,523
2012: 2,718
2013: 2,180
2014: 2,375
2015: 2,205
2016: 2,101
2017: 2,507
2018: 2,436
2019: 2,210

2020: 1,394

2021: 1,412

2022: 1,378

Total: 50,580 Miles

Another lackluster year of training and no racing, but surpassed the milestone of 50,000 lifetime miles.  Can I make it to 100,000?  I sure hope so!

I just bought myself a gravel bike.  A Trek Checkpoint SL -- far nicer than I deserve -- but I am excited to explore a new sport.  Might just sign up for the GRUSK 100 tonight at 12:01 am to start 2023 out with a goal that will require some serious new focus.

2021 Wrap Up

Not much of substance to report for 2021, other than consistently getting out the door an average of four days per week for an hour or so.  Total mileage was 1,412 with 23,901 feet of elevation gain.  Not stats to brag about, but I think I am intrinsically satisfied.  No races run this year due to the continued COVID-19 pandemic and no ultra distances covered (no excuses to report there).  I simply haven't had the extra mental energies to commit to such endeavors.

Lifetime totals:

2002: 651
2003: 2,213
2004: 2,506
2005: 2,667
2006: 3,124
2007: 2,759
2008: 2,812
2009: 3,353
2010: 3,056
2011: 4,523
2012: 2,718
2013: 2,180
2014: 2,375
2015: 2,205
2016: 2,101
2017: 2,507
2018: 2,436
2019: 2,210

2020: 1,394

2021: 1,412

Total: 49,202 Miles

Am I falling out of love with running and races?  I think it is not so.  A recent IRunFar article by Sabrina Little hit home:

"Ordo amoris is order of loves. This is a concept introduced by Augustine. The idea is that there is a priority proper to the things we love. For Augustine, a good life consists of loving what we ought, to the extent that we ought, in the ways that we ought.

He describes how we should not “have a greater love for what should be loved less, or an equal love for things that should be loved less or more, or a lesser or greater love for things that should be loved equally.”

Augustine also states that to get the priority of our loves correct is nothing short of “a brief and true definition of virtue.” Good actions follow from well-ordered loves."

My priorities are simply different from what they once were.  My "order of loves" has changes.  Ten years ago, running occupied my thoughts daily and I ruminated over what races to run, details of preparation, and training minutiae.  These days I find myself focused more on being a good husband, father, son, and also focusing on my career -- all the while trying to squeeze in the much needed running and soul balancing that it provides me.

Life moves in circles.  It won't be like this forever.  Or maybe it will?  Change is the only constant.  Nonetheless, I will keep putting one foot in front of the other, striving for the next mile, the next sunrise, the next sunset, the next joyful expression that only running can deliver -- in the appropriate order of loves. 

I will end this annual blog entry with a quote from one of my favorites books and authors, Norman Maclean in A River Runs Through It:

"Eventually, all things merge into one, and a river runs through it.  The river was cut by the world's great flood and runs over rocks from the basement of time.  On some of the rocks are timeless raindrops.  Under the rocks are the words, and some of the words are theirs.  

I am haunted by waters."

2020 Wrap-Up

Kissing 2020 Goodbye!

My goals for 2020 were not very concrete.  I hoped to be more kind to myself and others, to strive for better balance as a son, husband, father, race director, optometrist, and citizen in my community.  I have definitely served the community from a work capacity, but there was no balance in 2020 thanks to the COVID-19 pandemic.  When the pandemic hit in March, I basically stopped running for > 2-mths due to the stress and long hours as Medical Director.  Running seems trivial when the fabric of the world seemed to be unraveling.

1,394 was the total mileage, but that doesn't tell the entire story.

Lifetime totals:

2002: 651
2003: 2,213
2004: 2,506
2005: 2,667
2006: 3,124
2007: 2,759
2008: 2,812
2009: 3,353
2010: 3,056
2011: 4,523
2012: 2,718
2013: 2,180
2014: 2,375
2015: 2,205
2016: 2,101
2017: 2,507
2018: 2,436
2019: 2,210

2020: 1,394

Total: 47,790 Miles

The highlight of the year:  Turning 40 and celebrating with a solo Highlands Sky 40M

Nearly all my mileage in 2020 was alone and shorter runs -- virtually all on trail and with at least a 1,000' of vertical.  It's notable that I ran 700 miles less than 2019, yet 13K more elevation gain in 2020.  I learned that I need races to be motivated to train with higher mileage, but that I need running to balance out life and the stresses involved.  It is disappointing to have broken the streak of 2,000 mileage years, but such is life.  All streaks come to and end.  I am emerging from 2020 with a healthier relationship with running, family, work, etc.  I have limited goals for the new year, but I am full of hope, resilience, confidence, and resolve.  Onward to 2021!  One foot in front of the other . . .  Only 2,210 miles to 50,000.

2019 Wrap-Up

2019 was highlighted by finally getting my chance to run the Western States 100.  My training was solid leading up to the race, then dramatically decreased.  The decrease was both physical and mental.   I was plagued by a few small injuries after Western States, but mostly I suffered from an extreme lack of motivation.  I should have been prepared for this.  After striving and focusing on Western States for so many years, I should have expected some severe post-race blues.  I did expect somewhat of a let-down, but I could not have predicted the severity.

Regardless, I have come through the experience with a sense of gratitude and satisfaction.  Running Western States was a dream come true.  I have learned though, after these "mountain top" experiences there is only one way to go:  down. Much like other aspects of life though, you have to be ready to ride the sinusoidal wave.

Lifetime totals:
2002: 651
2003: 2,213
2004: 2,506
2005: 2,667
2006: 3,124
2007: 2,759
2008: 2,812
2009: 3,353
2010: 3,056
2011: 4,523
2012: 2,718
2013: 2,180
2014: 2,375
2015: 2,205
2016: 2,101
2017: 2,507
2018: 2,436
2019: 2,210
Total: 46,396 Miles

Many goals and aspirations can feel empty once accomplished.  It certainly does not mean that dreams are not worth pursuit.  They most certainly are.  What I have found is that we must keep our hearts fixed upon the pursuit of adventure and keep our eyes focused upon the people and things of real, lasting importance.  I am thankful for my health and ability to still be doing what I love after all of these years.  I am thankful for my friends, family, faith, career, and for the dreams and goals for the future that spur me forward.

My goals for 2020 are far less rigid and structured than most years.  Yes I hope to run some races (I'm not sure what; no 100-mile distance this year and no lottery races) and I hope that I still have the capacity for some good results.  I may and I may not.  I am ok either way.  In 2020, I hope to be more kind to myself and others.  I hope to strive for better balance as a son, husband, father, race director, optometrist, and citizen in my community.

Happy New Year and here's to a great 2020!

Western States

Running from Demons and Chasing a Dream 

Finally getting my chance to run the Western States 100-Mile Endurance Run was a dream come true.  After patiently acquiring race qualifiers and painfully enduring the lottery seven straight years, finally I was to get my chance in 2019.  I have watched the live Facebook feed of the lottery every year and I will admit that it has been a painful exercise given my level of commitment to the race.  Finally, on December 1, 2018 Kynan Matz pulled out my name from the hat.  I was ecstatic! 

Around the end of December, I kicked off my training cycle for Western States.  Six plus months is a long time to train for one race, but I was super excited and focused.  I didn’t do – or plan to do – a tremendous amount of volume (I can’t handle what I once did), but my focus for the training block was consistency and elevation gain/loss.  I can honestly say that this is the most fun and enjoyment that I have ever had training for a race.  Most weekends I was able to get together with a combo of friends: Lucas Warner, Tom Wood, and Joel Wolpert.  This was a nice change from my normal solo status.  From December 29 until June 11, I simply made sure I got in a long run of 20-30 miles and focused my other runs on getting in as much vertical as possible.   In the end, I got in around 1,500 miles of quality miles.  No speed, but no junk.  I wanted to specifically make it to the starting line in Squaw Valley healthy and not over-trained.  June 29, mission accomplished! 

2018 Recap

Who cares about 2018, I'm RUNNING WESTERN STATES IN 2019!!!!!!!!!

Finally I will be lucky enough to get my chance at the race that has been my goal for so long.  I've wanted to run it since 2004 when I first watched the movie Running Madness.  To say that I am excited would be an understatement.

2018 turned out to be a great year of running.  No great performances, but all-in-all a wonderful, joyful year of doing what I love.

I ran the Terrapin 50K in March (training run effort), Miwok 100K in May (as my Western States qualifier and a key race for the spring), Iron Mtn 30-mile in September (training effort), and the JFK 50M in November (key race for fall).

Photo: Glenn Tachiyama (Miwok finish)

Miwok was the focal point of the year and while I'm not disappointed in my result -- or the main goal in getting a WS qualifier -- I lacked the desire to dig deep and actually "pour myself out" and race.  I had a really good time doing the race and experiencing CA and the Marin Headlands.  Maybe it was because I knew I was on vacation?  Regardless, Kadra and I had a great time celebrating our 10th wedding anniversary exploring northern California.  Great trip and great race!

Enjoying running with Stacin at Iron Mtn

I gave it one more shot at a hard effort at JFK, but frankly that was a disaster from the beginning.  The snow on the AT section had my hips screaming and the tow path was a nightmare for me.  It was fun to experience the nation's oldest ultra, but the event and course were not my cup of tea.  The good thing about JFK was that it kept me focused on some solid training throughout the fall.

The year wrapped-up at a respectable mileage of 2,436.   I was consistent with no injuries or significant down-time -- just a few weeks here and there for mild illnesses and recovery/down-time post the two bigger race efforts.

Lifetime totals:
2002: 651
2003: 2,213
2004: 2,506
2005: 2,667
2006: 3,124
2007: 2,759
2008: 2,812
2009: 3,353
2010: 3,056
2011: 4,523
2012: 2,718
2013: 2,180
2014: 2,375
2015: 2,205
2016: 2,101
2017: 2,507
2018: 2,436
Total: 44,186 Miles

The focal point of 2019 rests squarely on the shoulders of Western States.  I'm not thinking of anything else for the next 6+ months.  Miles, gain/loss, strength and heat training will some of the key building blocks.

My goals are modest and realistic for the race.  Obviously finishing is goal #1, followed finishing sub-24 being goal #2.  So far, all seven 100-milers that I've finished are sub-24 and I would like to keep the streak going.  I think I am capable of much faster though if everything goes well.  I want to take in the entire Western States experience and relish every moment.  This is most likely my one shot; I want to make sure that it counts.

Happy New Year!

2017 Review

2017 was a year of disappointment and consistency.  Disappointment from goals not achieved (MMT PR goal ending in DNF); consistency in mileage and achieving a Western States qualifier.   Consistency also was also achieved in yet again not getting in to Western States -- six time loser now.

I was happy to reach my mileage goal of 2,500 for the year . . . by the skin of my teeth though.


2002: 651
2003: 2,213
2004: 2,506
2005: 2,667
2006: 3,124
2007: 2,759
2008: 2,812
2009: 3,353
2010: 3,056
2011: 4,523
2012: 2,718
2013: 2,180
2014: 2,375
2015: 2,205
2016: 2,101
2017: 2,507
Total: 41,750 Miles



Plans for 2018: I plan to do two new races in the spring. 1) Terrapin 50K 2) Miwok 100K. Miwok is the focus for the year. It will be my Western States qualifier for 2019 and my first trip to California. I'm looking forward to it as it will coincide with our 10-year anniversary and will be a fun trip.

I'm planning on doing another fast-pack adventure in July. This year will probably be on the Allegheny Trail from Thomas to Marlinton. The fall I'm leaving open, but have some thoughts. I will run something at Iron Mountain -- hopefully the 50M and then maybe a return to Masochist. That's one of my favorite events and I've been away too long.

Happy New Year! Here's to a great year ahead of us in 2018!

Blast From the Past

Found this from my friend Jeremy Ramsey on YouTube.  Somehow I missed this one back in 2011.  Good memories from a great adventure.

Hallucination 100: Taking Care of Business

After my DNF at Massanutten, I vowed that I was taking a break from 100's and giving up the dream, goal, and accumulated tickets for Western States.  After some soul searching over the past few months, I came to the realization that I would really regret not at least giving it another go.  On September 8, I toed the line at the Hallucination 100 in Pinckney, MI part of the Run Woodstock events.

The goal of the race was not to race at all.  It was all about taking care of business.  This was the race of firsts: the first race that I had ever traveled to alone, the first 100 without crew, and the first 100 with no pacer.  I was undertrained, but over prepared and mentally ready to cover the distance.  The course was 6-loops of 16.67 miles and I had a drop bag at the start/finish.  I was prepared for whatever might happen (I even had a sleeping bag in my sack of tricks) and was going do whatever it took to finish; even if that meant using every second of the 30-hour limit.

There is certainly nothing exciting about my race execution.  I simply got it done.  Six loops is a mental test, but aside from some sleepiness from the 4:00 p.m. start, the loops passed uneventfully.  I enjoyed the cool, clear, Michigan night cruising along to some good tunes and the beam of my headlamp.  It was a long night, but I enjoyed countless cups of coffee, handfuls of potatoes, gels, and even some pancakes in the pre-dawn light.  Amazingly enough, my watch lasted the entire race and can be viewed here on Strava.  22:19 was the finishing time; no worse for the wear.  Happy to have finished my 7th 100-mile race.  All seven under 24-hours.

So now I have 6-tickets for Western States.  Fingers crossed yet again in December!

Coming to Grips

In the early morning hours of May 5, I was running in familiar territory – the Massanutten Mountains of Virginia.    My training had been very focused upon this one day for the past five months.  I was poised and hoping for a good day; a PR on a course I know well. 21:37 was the mark I was aiming.  Failure was nearly inconceivable.

From the gun, there was something missing.  The gentle climb up to Moreland Gap felt more labored than it should.  “When the sun comes up, I will feel better”, I thought to myself.  I came in to Edinburg Gap a full ten minutes slower than my time from two years prior.  “Hang in there, things will turn around”, I calmly told myself and plodded on.  By mile-20 at Woodstock Tower, I was continuing to really struggle.  My body felt like I had already run 50-miles.  Slow, sluggish, and as if I had a “restrictor plate” on my engine I proceeded.  My central governor felt broken.  My stomach and legs were fine, but I simply could not will myself to propel forward the way I normally run.

I discussed dropping at Elizabeth Furnace (mile 33) with my crew made up of my good friends Pete and Jim.  They urged me to go on.  I yearned only to make to simply to Camp Roosevelt (mile 64) where I would have pacers to the end.  “One aid-station to the next”, my positive self-talk went.  I felt terrible for having them out there with me.

I slogged on in deep contemplation and assessment of my mind, body, and soul.  In the end, it just wasn’t my day and I put myself out of misery at Habron Gap (mile 54) after 13-hours on the course.  I thought about all this failure meant:  Nullification of my sacrifice of training time away from my family and the loss of 5-years accumulated tickets for Western States.  In the end, I could do no more; or I would not do any more.  Whichever it was, it mattered not.

I have had plenty of time to dwell upon my failure.  My conclusion is that I simply have too many life stresses to focus on training and running 100-miles for the next few years.  I believe I was over-trained.  On paper I believe my training was spot on – running slightly over 1,000 miles since January with a high level of quality and specification for MMT.  What I did not account for was the accumulation of stress from work and home.  I have two young children at home and that’s comes with its own myriad of stresses – good and bad – but my job has become increasingly demanding and stressful over the past few years.  Unfortunately, I can do nothing about either currently.   Guilt constantly riddles and haunts me – my life it not my own.

In conclusion, I still love to run and I still love to race ultras.   I love my wife and two sons even more though and I value my career and the difference I am making in my community.  Sacrifices must be made and some dreams must be put on hold.   It’s simply a season of life to take care of first things first.  So 100-milers . . . until we meet again old friend!